Reemergence & Autocannibalistic Snakes

This is the first blog post I’ve written in a year and a half. I’m glad I took time away—a lot has happened, and I’ve learned more about how I want to show up in public spaces and online. Perhaps more on that later.

I recently had the opportunity to spend 2 weeks away from technology. Part of that time was spent on Anishinabewaki land, on the North Shore of Lake Superior in Minnesota. During that visit, I managed to forget what day or time it was. Much like when I find drool on my pillow after a nap, this felt like a sign of a proper reset. There were so many favorite moments of this trip, like lounging on rocks in the sun next to waterfalls the color of root beer, or seeing one of the most vivid rainbows of my life, arching over lake Superior next to a rising waxing gibbous moon (after a 10 ml THC drink, I was mildly convinced I was being transported to a live action version of the Lisa Frank universe).

But a series of tender and generous favorite moments were the ones with the feeling of my mind quieting due to lack of scheduling and screen stimulus—it was like watching fog clear to reveal a beautiful landscape I had long forgotten. Motivation to go for walks based on the desire to explore and not “get my steps in” emerged. The capacity to struggle with learning how to make a magic loop so I could crochet an amigurumi octopus came online.

And I started writing again.

Below is a short snippet that spilled out into my journal, written quickly, barely legible, that made me laugh out loud and feel gratitude for how my mind thinks. It felt like getting a goofy-ass letter from an old friend, while also pretty well capturing how I feel about the state of the world. I’d like to share it here.

Yes, snakes do sometimes eat their own tails. But rarely, and mostly in captivity.

Humanity is a snake eating its own tail.

This is not something that any snake does consciously or on purpose.

How does the snake stop eating its tail?

By recognizing that this probably isn’t the most effective or sustainable path forward (by a long shot).

Then…it has to go through the process of…

Puking it up.

Is puking a pleasant process?

No!

We resist it often, even when we know it will make us feel better.

Ugh, it just doesn’t feel good.

But is it as bad as digesting and eliminating our own existence?

Not by a long shot!

So, if you’re choosing to stop the madness…be prepared to be uncomfortable in the direction of stopping some even more painful and destructive processes.

I promise, some aspect of you will feel relief, will feel much better afterwards.